I love black thongs
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
