we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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