what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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