Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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