Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
