don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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