my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
