yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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