Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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