dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
