Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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