Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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