she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize