i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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