feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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