..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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