She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize