That's intense
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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