She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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