i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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