Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize