How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
