yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
