he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
