I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
