I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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