i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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