Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize