You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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