just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
