Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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