at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
