Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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