looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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