No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
