I cockslap morals
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize