Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
