he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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