great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
