Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Sponge bath it is.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
