Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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