You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
