i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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