Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
