i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Of course I have a pirate flag
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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