last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
