that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I think your dad took our porno
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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