Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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