He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
