and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize