i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
