He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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