Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
