Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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