I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
