I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
